Summer is a time when everyone wants a break. We work hard all year and we deserve it! When it gets warm and the days are long, we all expect time at the beach, lighter schedules, and more time with friends.
After working hard to keep your small beings in line all year, you may also want a parenting vacation. This means less structure at home and more flexibility with the rules, for example, you’ll say “yes” more often to ice cream and “no” to daily clean up.
While it may seem like the right choice at the moment, the reality is that you’ll have to work harder in the longer run. Consider that carefully when you decide to have a summer vacation from parenting.
Here are your options, warts and all:
Take the summer off and pay for it as you go
You don’t want to scream at your kids at the family barbecue, but I assure you that’s what will happen if you let go of all structure. When you look the other way as your kiddo eats a second dessert, it means that bedtime will end up being at 11:30 pm, instead of the regular 8:30 pm.
You will see that bad behavior starts to happen more often. Also, while you can pretend that your child understands the shift in rules during the summer, it’s not the case. It will take an intense amount of work and be a grueling process to transition your kiddo to school-time rules if you let everything go during the summer.
Make a set of summer rules
You acknowledge that the summer has more space for flexibility, but you will create structure that inhibits problem behavior. You’ll talk with your kids about the shift in expectations when they are on holiday and that there are adjustments you are making. Maybe you decide to have dessert every other day rather than just on the weekends, or baths every day instead of every other.
Whatever the change, you talk about it and do it with intention. The road back in September will be bumpy. but not grueling.
Rules change only during vacation
You keep all your regular rules and expectations in place, especially when it comes to routines around treats and bedtime. This signals to your child that the rules are in his best interest. Also, you maintain some daily reading and homework time, so that your small ones keep learning all summer. Doing so helps them see learning as part of life, not something that only exists during school.
When you are on vacation together, you relax the rules a bit and let your children know exactly what you are doing. This plan ensures that the transition back to school is seamless. Your kiddos learned all summer that structure does not inhibit fun.
My suggestion is to put option three into action. Select family rules that help your small ones thrive and keep them in place all year round. Make small adjustments as seasons change, because dramatic changes are confusing. Keep your children’s mind stimulated throughout the summer as their bodies are in motion.
Do what is in your kids’ best interests and help them flourish year round!
For a special gift especially for New York Parenting readers please visit: https://drmarcie.leadpages.co/quick-video-for-ny-parenting/
Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavioral therapist based in Brooklyn. She has worked with thousands of families for more than 15 years and has condensed her observations into her practice and programs. For more on her, visit www.Behav
