It seems everywhere I go lately, since I’m out-to-there-pregnant, people are asking if I’ll have more children. The same thing happened when Olivia was born. The nurse at the hospital asked me when my husband and I would start trying for baby number two, when I had delivered Olivia just three hours before. Needless to say, having another baby was the last thing on my mind.
Everyone has their number — the ideal number of children they want to have — and more often than not, the number in their head doesn’t match the number of actual children they will have.
My mother always wanted four children. She was one of four and grew up with fond memories (and some not so fond) of growing up with her older brothers. But when she had a complicated pregnancy and childbirth with me, she decided one was plenty.
My dad is one of eight and always wanted lots of children, too. He remarried my stepmother and had two more. She thought two was perfect. She had her pair; my half-brother and half-sister. So that was that.
Today, it’s no surprise that, whether parents decide to or not, families are shrinking. It’s become extremely pricey to raise a family, and with two parents working to make ends meet, little time is left over to rear children.
I used to think it would be much easier, like most people, before I had children. I didn’t give much thought to childcare or funding college or even simple dance lessons. Everything would just work itself out.
Now, with a second one on the way, my inner control freak is feeling the pressure. As someone recently told me, “One is manageable, two is scary.”
I don’t know what the future holds or if I’ll have a change of heart in a few years. My husband and I don’t have a master plan for the size of our family — before we had kids, his number was five but somehow I think that number has changed for him. Sure, we’d both love to have a boy. But I’m finally getting used to the idea of my girls, and I love it.
Our home will certainly be very girly and my husband will definitely crave more guy time, but I remind him of the daughters who will grow up and take care of us in our old age, if we’re lucky. I also remind him that we should never be outnumbered.
Maybe one day we’ll want to add to our family, but right now I’m comfortable with the idea of a family of four. I’ve always been a bit of a loner as an only child, so I’m excited that Olivia gets to have a sibling to grow up with.
Her and her sister, with mom and dad’s help, will create their own memories.
In the meantime, mom and dad will be tucking money away for all those dance lessons and other wonderful expenses.
