When it comes to periods, it is important to talk to your daughter about what to expect. You never know what information is floating around the hallways at school, or what peers may be sharing that may or may not be true.
When your daughter knows what is normal and feels prepared, she is likely to feel more comfortable with her own body as she goes through these inevitable changes.
Be aware that every girl’s experience is unique.
“Girls typically get their period around age 12 or 13, but it can be completely normal for them to get it earlier, depending on their pubertal stage, or can even be perfectly normal to get at 14 or 15,” said Dr. Gabrielle Gold-von Simson, assistant professor of pediatrics at New York University Langone Medical Center.
Your daughter’s cycle may start out unpredictable, but, over time, it will become more predictable.
“Physiologically, the menstrual cycle is usually about 28 days, but can be as short as 14 and be normal, and as long as six weeks and also be normal,” said Gold-von Simson.
When girls get their period, they need to understand what is happening.
“They should know that it is a completely normal process and that they are likely to achieve or be going through their growth spurt at that time,” said Gold-von Simson. It can be a nerve-racking time for some. “The body is undergoing changes, the voice is changing, attitudes are changing, complexion is changing, and it is a time for parents to talk to their kid honestly about her body, how babies are made, and about safe sex.”
Some girls are more accepting of the transition into adulthood than others.
“It is interesting that girls perceive their first menstrual period differently, such that it can cause some to be proud, others to be scared, others to be confused, and others to be basically unfazed,” she said. Most come into the situation with some knowledge under their belt. “They should have some sort of understanding, because there is health education in the schools starting prior to fourth grade, where they learn about the body.”
The conversation should be a chance for your daughter to sort out any misinformation she has gotten before, and to ask any questions she may have.
“It is important for girls to understand that they can get pregnant and come down with venereal diseases, if they do not take proper precautions,” said Gold-von Simson.
Explain that girls should be accountable for their bodies.
“They should understand how many days the period lasts and be keeping track in terms of whether they get it at the beginning, middle, or end of the month,” said Gold-von Simson.
When a girl gets her period it means that the body has matured to the point where she can ovulate and become pregnant. There is no reason to fear the period, even if it means dealing with terrible cramps.
“If you are feeling pain, it is good to take ibuprofen with food every six hours or as needed, and it is a safe medication when taken properly,” said Gold-von Simson.
Help your daughter find products that work for her, whether it is a pad or tampon, and let her know that both are equally acceptable.
“Some girls, who have not yet become sexually active, have trouble inserting the tampon, which can cause some anxiety, whereas others do not and feel more comfortable with tampons, because it enables them to be active,” she explained. Girls should be sure to change tampons in accordance with their doctor’s advice.
Consult with your daughter’s doctor if she has any concerns.
“If you have a heavy flow, or it lasts for more than five to seven days, you should see a practitioner because it can start affecting your health in other ways,” said Gold-von Simson. If pain is so severe that she needs large doses of medication, there are other modes of treatment. “If the period is coming only 10 days or mid-cycle, you have to worry about other things happening. And if there is a missed period of irregular bleeding in a sexually active girl, you need to worry about other things.”
Explain that knowing your body is the key to recognizing a problem.
“If there is painful discharge or pain in urination you have to think about sexually transmitted diseases,” said Gold-von Simson.
When a girl is in tune with her body and has an open relationship with her doctor, she will be able to face periods with comfort and confidence, knowing that it is just part of the experience of being female.
Jamie Lober, author of “Pink Power,” writes about women’s and pediatric health topics. Her website is www.getpinkpower.com, and she can be reached at [email protected]. © 2013 Jamie Lober
