For those of us who have the joy of sharing our lives with a family member who has Autism Spectrum Disorder or another special need, we know the feeling of living Halloween way before autumn arrives, or having to listen to Christmas carols the first day of October.
For many, the idea of happy holiday happenings can quickly turn into too-much-too-soon and lead to a downward spiral. Here are some simple strategies that may ease the overwhelming excitement, and allow one to celebrate the holidays in a timely, successive order:
• Always keep a calendar, not only for listing appointments and birthdays, but for also listing what people generally do during specific times of the year. For example, in October, I would write at the top of the page: “People decorate their homes with pumpkins. Maybe we can go apple picking. People talk about baking and eating apple pie and pumpkin bread. We can watch ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and scary movies. Everyone looks at Halloween costumes and buys bags of candy.” You should continue this throughout the year.
• When each major holiday ends, prepare for the next holiday. When Thanksgiving ends, write the following the day after: “Start taking down Thanksgiving decorations and talking about Christmas. Start writing a list about what Christmas decorations to get.”
• Include your family member in functional tasks during the busyness of the holiday season as much as possible, such as creating a food shopping list pertaining to Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas cookie recipes, or having him push the cart and find the items in the supermarket. In other words, try to use his excitable, nervous energies as much as possible in a positive, proactive way.
• As each holiday ends, have your family member recycle the catalogs and magazines, as this is a physical way to symbolize its ending.
• Limit his choices of music and movies to a seasonal selection or those that are relevant all year. Layout the “TV Guide” to demonstrate when most people watch Christmas movies. A good rule to follow is: in someone’s bedroom anything can happen, but in the living room we have to follow certain rules. So, on Christmas Eve, nobody in the family wants to watch a movie about Easter!
• Proactively preparing each person about the upcoming changes in his or her schedules is the best bet. Letting them know the location of the holiday dinner is a must. If visitors are coming over, please let them know. Making these changes known via a written note and/or photographs are gladly appreciated.
• Always provide items and activities to keep your family members occupied during these holiday meals. We can amuse ourselves with conversation but sometimes others cannot. Keep that in mind.
Follow these rules so that YOU and the rest of your family can enjoy yourselves!
