Parents either love mealtime or they hate it. Which side of the fence are you on?
You face two different challenges during meals:
Getting your kid to sit at the table: This is the social part of eating.
Making sure your kid eats his food: This is the nutritional side to the meal.
My advice is to address one problem at a time:
Getting your child to sit at the table
Notice over three days how long your small being will sit at the table before you have to say, “Come back here” or “Sit down.” How long will she sit without your intervention?
Also, take stock of exactly what is happening when your small being wants to leave the table. Are you talking with your kiddo or are you speaking to another adult? Are you sitting at the table eating together or are you multitasking and hardly noticing that your child is eating?
If you are not paying attention to your small one, then she will get up from the table so that you pay attention to her. It might be negative attention, but your small being does not differentiate between the two.
Meals are a time to be social and build up conversation skills. It is also an opportunity to give your child the attention she is craving from you. Yes, I know, you have a ton of things on your plate, but you must find a way to sit down with your child at mealtime. This is critical if you would like your small being to sit with the rest of the family.
Wait until you have the plates of food ready before you call your child to the table. Sit down with her. At first, adjust your expectation; accept that she will sit down for the length of time you noticed her sitting down for earlier. I strongly suggest you use a timer!
While you are sitting together, ask how her day was and share how your day was. Talk about the exciting things that are going to happen later in the week. Keep the conversation going, and keep it positive. When the time is up, congratulate her for sitting so nicely at the table during mealtime.
As you find your small being staying at the table for the entirety of the timer’s period, then each week increase the term by one minute. Before you know it, she will be at the table for a full 15 minutes without any reminders!
Making sure your kid eats his food
Children need to eat in order to have all of that fantastic energy! You can encourage healthy eating by only placing the food on their plate that you expect them to eat. The idea is that there is no negotiating around dinner; children must eat what is on their plates. When this is the rule, kiddos are much more likely to eat without complaint and to not constantly argue about it.
Since your child must eat what is on his plate, do not fill it with too much food. Once the plate is clean, he can always get more food, so it is okay to give him less.
The goal is for him to feel the satisfaction of finishing his plate and not fighting with you about it. When your small one is used to eating what is on his plate, you can start adding new foods, one at a time.
Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavior specialist based in Brooklyn who has worked with thousands of families for more than 20 years. Her book “Love Your Classroom Again” was a bestseller, and she has served as a guest expert on WCBS and Fox. Find out more at DrMar
