FOMO — an acronym for “fear of missing out” — is not only the latest addition in a teenager’s arsenal of slang, but an indicator of a lifestyle trend. It reflects young people’s obsessive desire to stay in the loop, though not exactly in a good carpe-diem-sort-of-way. Instead, this term speaks to our deepest worries that we will become irrelevant or lose out if we pass on any opportunity. For teenage students treading fragile ground in an increasingly competitive and high-pressure world, a fear of missing out can be their worst enemy — and divert attention away from what is truly important.
Generally, the term is used to describe anxiety of missing out on social engagements or activities. Teens often feel pressured to accept any invitation to a social gathering regardless of time constraints or their priorities. They often feel uncomfortable saying “no” because they fear that they will regret the decision in the future, and they worry about others passing judgment on the quality of their social lives.
The avid use of social media has only exacerbated the problem, providing an extra outlet for connecting and sharing. I am invited to quite a few events on Facebook and definitely more than I can attend. Declining is often difficult, but what is harder is scrolling through my Facebook feed and seeing all the good times my friends are having without me. It can be disheartening and also feed my deepest social insecurities.
In the high school and college world, FOMO turns into a different, intrusive monster, wagging its ugly head into the world of academics and career preparation. Teenagers are often so stressed out about their futures that they worry constantly about the decisions they make and the consequences. Despite their overbooked schedules, they will cram in more extracurricular activities, sports, information sessions, and internships because they are terrified of losing a competitive edge. One notable example would be the review sessions my professors often hold before big exams. The auditorium is completely packed with students, but only a few people ever raise questions. Everyone else is there because they worry about missing out on any important tips or hints the professor might provide.
Yet, trying to do it all for the sake of FOMO clearly does seem a bit unnecessary and inefficient. When we exhaust all of our energy trying to keep up with all the social events and academic opportunities around us, we wind up missing more than we realize. When we spend our time dwelling on the fun we could have had with our friends, we could be actively making more memories or enjoy the moments we do have. There is no point living a life of regrets.
We also waste a lot of time when we try to do it all. The time spent at all of those review sessions waiting through the entire lecture for one piece of useful information could have been better spent studying independently and fully grasping the material. If we do miss that one piece of information, that is okay. What is missed is missed. Focus on what you can do in the future instead.
One way to tackle FOMO is to find creative alternatives that allow you to stay in the loop and do what you want without having to waste time. When it comes to social engagements, suggest alternative dates that might work better with your schedule. Also, consider swinging by a party for a half hour and then leaving to accomplish your other goals. In school, divide and conquer those information and review sessions with your friends. Ask friends to fill you in on a study abroad information session, while you provide notes and tips from a review session.
Nevertheless, the real trick to fighting this fear is realizing that life is neither a competition nor about comparisons. Know your own ability and learn to prioritize what is really important. Do not be afraid to turn down invitations when you have to — even if everyone else is going. Your self-worth and social relationships are more than one or two Facebook events. Be careful with your load and do not be afraid to lighten it when you have to. Our life is what we make it, and should never be measured by the yardstick of others.
Aglaia Ho is a junior at Williams College and a native New Yorker. She also writes for her own blog at www.aglai
