Let the help come in

I recently watched a terrific British television mini series that was very complex in it’s content. It was a crime mystery drama and it centered around two family scenarios. The reason I mention it is that one of the lead characters, who happens to be the police captain heading the investigation, and her husband are contacted by their school and told that their 4-year-old son needs to be evaluated for possible issues. He’s their only child and although a cute little boy, has some oddities to his behavior and is prone to tantrums. He’s rather aloof from other children and seems to have socialization difficulty. He exists seemingly happy in a kind of cocoon until he’s disturbed and then he can be disturbing. The mother’s response to the school’s concern is anger and denial. She is unable to see their intervention as a positive thing, and is uncooperative, at least in attitude. This doesn’t remain that way, but her initial response is defensive.

Who of us doesn’t understand that? We all wish for, hope for, and would like to assume that our children will be the norm. It’s rare to find a parent completely prepared, emotionally or psychologically for the unknown factors. Whether it’s behavior, learning skills, illness or disability, it’s a difficult pill for parents to swallow and disappointment is profound. A perfectly happy little girl becomes a teenager who is obsessed with her weight and image and is counting calories or purging what she does eat. A sweet little boy is now a school child who is sullen and withdrawn and has no friends and is acting weirdly.

The variables are vast and as parents the responsibility enormous. It’s impossible to do without help and support from a wide array of knowledgeable trained professionals. And they are out there, all kinds of trained personnel; teachers, therapists, instructors, friends, and family to give the sense of community that all really important circumstances require. Don’t even try to do it alone. That’s dangerous and also largely unnecessary. The mother in this series finally figured that out and came to grips with the situation. She relaxed and allowed others to help steer and guide them. She cried and released her disappointment and her anger. She let go and let the help come in.

We started this magazine in 2008. We are enormously proud that it is still going and that more and more of you have requested it’s distribution, for your homes, for your schools, for your community centers. We hope with all our hearts that it is a helpful resource in the daunting experience of raising children with special needs.

Thanks for reading.