Making changes, one behavior at a time

From strengthening relationships to achieving a healthier lifestyle, we all have behaviors we’d like to change to create a more satisfying life. But when we have families, establishing more positive habits can prove tricky. To get your family motivated, begin by focusing on one behavior at a time and make changes in a fun, collaborative way.

“One of the biggest opportunities we have that we often don’t take enough advantage of is role modeling, and that can be done by parents or by kids,” says Shelly Summar, a dietitian at Children’s Mercy Hospital. “Instead of telling people what not to do, we want to show people what to do and help set up environments to make it easier to do that.”

Here are some tips to do just that:

Curb sibling battles

Nothing makes a parent want to pull her hair out more than listening to her kids battle it out day and night. Refocus how your kids treat each other by rewarding cooperation. First, define what it means to treat each other with respect and kindness. Then, using a token point system, reward behaviors that fulfill your expectations.

“It’s important that the behaviors are very specifically identified and reinforcement is very immediate,” says Dr. Jane Sosland, a child psychologist at University of Kansas Medical Center. For example, you might say: “I really like the way you answered your sister there.” Or, “I really like the way you guys are cooperating.”

Keep track of points earned by using a sticker chart; a jar with marbles, cotton balls, or poker chips; or beads on a string.

To encourage teamwork, your kids must have an equal number of points to redeem for a special reward. When each child has earned 20 points, he earns an outing to a prized destination.

Get more active

Aiming for a healthier lifestyle? That’s easier if your family is involved. Invite them to help you make a list of activities you can all enjoy together at least once a week.

Ideas could include visiting a nature center, strolling through a museum, going for a bike ride, spending the day at the zoo, or swimming at your local community center. During extra busy weeks, plan simple activities like shooting hoops, playing hopscotch, or tossing a ball in the backyard.

Connect more by disconnecting

These days, family time competes with an array of extracurricular activities and screen distractions. Become intentional about making space for unplugged time together, whether through a regular evening meal or by creating traditions like a weekly family game night.

Summar, who has two teenage girls, says that her family has enjoyed a “Sunday Fun Day” tradition for years in which the family plays games together, laughs, and talks.

“In a fun situation, you can find out a whole lot more rather than sitting down one-on-one and drilling them,” she says.

Grow more intentional about screen time

Rather than disappearing down individual digital rabbit holes, use technology together to strengthen communication skills and creativity. For example:

• Invite your child to Facetime or Skype with grandparents

• Show her how to start a private blog about one of her favorite subjects

• Take digital photos together and collaborate on a photo book or a calendar

• Make a vacation video using the app “One Second Every Day”

• Seek video games that entertain, educate, and encourage critical thinking

• Connect with your kids by playing their favorite video games with them

Not only do kids like teaching their parents how to play games, researchers at Arizona State University found that gaming together generates conversation opportunities.

“Our research is finding that sharing this experience cultivates family bonding, learning, and well-being,” says Sinem Siyahhan, assistant research professor at the university’s Sanford School of Social and Family Dynamics.

Eat a more wholesome diet

Plan well-rounded meals, beginning with meals you know your family will embrace. Half the plate should be covered with a fruit or vegetable and the other half with grain and protein. Encourage family buy-in by including your kids in the planning and preparation of meals.

Replace common snack foods like chips, cookies, and snack cakes with colorful fruits and vegetables, beginning with the ones your kids like, such as carrots, celery, natural applesauce, watermelon, blueberries, or canned peaches in a light syrup or juice.

As you set out to make healthy dietary changes, avoid setting up barriers for yourself that will make success more difficult like limiting yourself to fresh organic fruits and vegetables.

“That’s a really difficult goal to achieve,” Summar says. “Make sure the goals you set are realistic, like ‘I’m going to go to a farmer’s market once this summer.’ ”

And, Summar adds, don’t feel bad about purchasing canned fruits and vegetables. They are good alternatives when fresh produce isn’t handy.

Above all, remember that changes come easier when they’re rewarding — and that goes for kids and adults.

Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines and her husband are the parents of two boys. Her latest book is “Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.”

Ways to successfully integrate new habits

•Think positively.

•Set specific, realistic goals.

•Address obstacles that will hamper your efforts to achieve your goals.

•Setbacks are common. Try again.

Relevant Directory Listings

See More

Ghostlight Theater Camp

<p>Ghostlight Theater Camp is a summer theater camp for campers ages 9-17. Providing 10-day, 3-week, and 6-week programs that combine high-caliber theater training with a traditional summer camp experience. </p> <p>Working with Broadway artists both in classes and in productions, campers will have access to skill development, mentorships, and lifelong connections that will follow them beyond camp. Ghostlight focuses on ensemble theatre values and practicies that support individuality and self-expression in the context of community. This means that no camper at Ghostlight is in the back row or sitting on the side. Each day brings multiple opportunities to perform and create with fellow campers in an environment filled with support. </p> <p>When not making theater, campers can enjoy the benefits of a summer camp in Maine that no other theater camp offers. Stargazing in a hammock, walks in the woods, downtime by the pool, and quiet time reading in the Gazebos with the sound of wind all around are some of highlights of a summer unplugged and away from screens. </p> <p>Finally, the most meaningful and lasting gift of a summer at Ghostlight is the friendships made that last a lifetime. Though the love of theater brings us together, and the work we do stands out from other experiences, the community focus of Ghostlight Theater Camp is why we hear, year after year, that campers cannot wait to return. </p>

Advantage Day Camps

<p><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; color: #000000;" data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">The activity never stops at Advantage Day Camps (ADC)! Campers ages 4 to 14 will enjoy a wide variety of sports, art, enrichment and experiences. And parents can relax, thanks to our complimentary early dropoff and late pickup.</span></p>

Buck's Rock Performing and Creative Arts Camp

<p>Buck’s Rock Camp is a freedom-of-choice creative and performing arts camp for teenagers ages 10 to 17. Every summer at Buck’s Rock is completely different. The campers who join us each year make the summer their own adventure, and the camp constantly evolves and changes to meet the needs of that year’s campers. So to answer the question “What is Buck’s Rock?” is simple: it is a safe space where young people can grow into whatever they want and need to be. </p> <p>The day at Buck’s Rock starts at 7:30am and ends at 10:15pm. What happens in between is as varied as our campers and as friendly as our beautiful campus. Every day at Buck’s Rock is different. What doesn’t change: our stunning pastoral setting, committed, professional counselors, and a camper-to-counselor ratio of 2:1.  </p> <p> </p> <p>Every day at Buck’s Rock is a new opportunity for self-discovery and creative expression. From the professionally-equipped studios and exciting performance spaces, to the state-of-the-art recording facilities and pool, campers are free to try anything and everything! Over 30 world-class programs await our artists every day, including everything from glassblowing to dance to painting to sketch comedy to radio to weaving to gardening and so much more!</p> <p> </p> <p>Many generations of Buck’s Rockers, including campers, their parents, and decades of dedicated staff make up our unique community. Just one summer at Buck’s Rock will make you a life-long member of our big, creative family. We can’t wait for you to join us!</p> <p> </p> <p>Tiered Tuition System based on gross annual income and household size; $0-$12,000</p> <p> </p> <p>Age: 10-17 years old</p> <p> </p> <p> </p>