Summertime and the livin’ is easy? Well, not so much, especially after those long, hot, stressful workdays that inevitably turn into even longer, more hectic evenings at home. Now that the kiddies seem to be underfoot 24 hours, seven days a week, that hint of romance on a balmy summer night may easily go unnoticed.
When you and your partner are in the mood for love, but your little darlings won’t go beddie-bye, how do you keep that spark alive?
Rosie Pope has some great tips. Along with mastering the art of looking fabulous and sexy in her stylish high heels — while pregnant — the popular parenting diva, and star of Bravo’s hit show, “Pregnant in Heels” (where she’s a maternity concierge), has also mastered the art of keeping things fun and romantic with hubby Daron, despite the daily chaos of family life.
Married 10-plus years, Rosie and her husband are facing the challenges of raising four adorable, active kids, (ranging in age from 7 years to only 4 months), while juggling full-time careers. The couple has lived in New York and the surrounding area since meeting in an elevator one day, and falling in love. It was an urban romance.
“Juggling my dual life as business owner and a mother of four is not something that I’ve mastered with total elegance,” she say. “While it may at times look like that from the outside — thanks to a great blow out and some snazzy wedges — the inside is a hurricane of emotion! Like so many other mothers in America, I was not able to take the maternity leave that I would have liked. After all, I run my own business, so stopping work for months at a time really wasn’t an option.”
While maintaining her wholesome image, the doting mom has skillfully managed to channel her inner temptress (much to her hubby’s delight), and reminds harried New York parents to work on keeping that spark alive — no matter what!
According to Rosie, it’s all about that all-important date night — even when mom’s exhausted and not really in the mood.
“Every night can be Friday! Don’t wait till the weekend to have a special date — if the opportunity presents itself, seize the moment!”
Here, she offers NY Parenting’s moms and dads her insights as a parent, so they can better balance motherhood (and fatherhood) with intimacy, and discusses how you and your better half can find time for amoré (every night!).
Rosie reveals her secrets to a healthy and lasting relationship and marriage:
Communication: Communicate — even when it’s hard (and quite often, frustrating).
Empathy: Don’t forget to think of things from your partner’s perspective. (It’s tricky, especially when he or she is annoying the heck out of you. But it’s do-able and works wonders to foster a loving atmosphere).
Work on intimacy! It is unequivocally a very important part of your relationship, and it’s kind of like going to the gym: you may not like feel like it, but you are always glad you did it!
Feel good about yourself: Do what you need to look and feel confident. Remember — confidence is attractive!
Tell your love story: Everyone has one, so regularly remind yourselves of that moment you fell in love. Those feelings live on inside of you and you need to revisit them often.
So, how does Rosie find time for date nights and late-night shenanigans with four demanding kids, her maternity shops, and a line of baby clothing she designs? Well, it ain’t easy, but she truly believes the trick is to “seize that moment!”
“Any night can be a date night once the kids are in bed,” she says. “We are strict about their bedtimes, so we have time with each other most evenings. My husband is a fantastic cook, so we don’t need to go out. I pour the bubbly, make the play list, and he grills the fish.
“We work together, so we actually get to spend a lot of time together. It’s less about the need for us to go out to special places and more about finding those key points everyday — to check in with each other on a personal level, rather than on a parenting or business subject.”
She admits they’re very lucky to have help at home, and grandparents that really help out a lot.
And what’s Rosie’s advice for single parents dating and bringing someone new into the family?
“Be honest with your children. My parents separated when I was very young and I think some of the difficulty I had growing up was being kept in the dark about relationships. And so when I learned of them, they were very serious, and it seemed so out of left field to me and made it hard for me to adjust or accept this new person. Kids can handle a lot when you are honest with them.”
So, on those balmy nights when a hint of romance is in the air, she reminds couples to “keep it fun and often!” You can fill in the blanks.
Rosie Pope stores: [55 Warren St. between W. Broadway and Church Street in Tribeca, (212) 213–3393, www.rosiepope.com] and [1265 Madison Ave. between E. 90th and E. 91st streets on the Upper East Side, (212) 608–2036].
