Marriage is not easy. It can be messy and tense, and there are a lot of things to remember and consider when trying for a happy, healthy marriage and family life.
I realized on a recent trip to Jamaica with my husband that 17 years together — 12 married — is something to be really proud of. Someone asked me yesterday how to cope with being too hard on oneself when it comes to parenting, and I responded by saying how important the little things are, from making dinner once a week with your kids, to making time for an after-school-after-work ice cream run.
Well, I think the same goes for being a good wife or husband. That’s why my husband and I decided to leave the kids at home and escape to the tropical island. I’ve already been home for an entire week, but it still hasn’t set in that I’m not in Jamaica anymore. I still feel like I am at the island’s spa in my mind, floating in the pool with no idea where my cellphone is.
Brian and I had a laugh to ourselves while walking on the beach.
“We’re actually holding hands,” he said to me. “When’s the last time we held hands?”
We laughed at the sweet and awkward first-date nature of our hand-holding and I really felt so happy and close to him. Right then and there, we made a pact to hold hands at least once a day when we got back to New York. Yesterday we totally forgot, but right before our heads hit our pillows, he squeezed my hand. We laughed and called it a successful day. We are trying and accepting and laughing when we can, and that’s what matters.
Back in August, I told the New York Times why I thought a childless vacation was therapeutic and necessary, and I stand by it to this day. I’m living proof. Brian and I had such a gorgeous vacation and got along so beautifully.
I had only been in Jamaica for 30 hours when I emailed my assistant telling her I was undoubtedly “moving down here with the boys ASAP!” I completely understood, upon arrival, why people choose or highly consider moving somewhere tropical and totally stress-free. They get the common responses: “It’s unrealistic.” “You’re running away.” But why not? You only have one life to live, and Bob (Marley) said you should live the life you love and love the life you live, right?
Brian and I are going to try and touch base a couple times a day — whether it be a text, phone call, or email — about something other than our businesses or children. I’m thinking of sending him a little “meet me at the pool” or “order me a pina colada, be there in second” text while he’s at work today. What do you think? A marriage without inside jokes and a little dry humor is bound to be hard — if you can’t poke fun at your husband for all his gray hairs coming in before yours, and if he can’t respond by jokingly pointing out your multiple trips to the hair salon a month to make that so, then what are you doing?
I think any DivaMom would agree, however, that it’s a lot easier to work on anything — especially your marriage — after a good ol’ spa day. The Spa at Round Hill is an oasis of relaxation and pampering, set amidst 10 acres of beautiful oceanfront property. It offers a vast array of treatments, sure to soothe away your stress, and leave you feeling refreshed and invigorated. Many treatments feature the exclusive Elemis line of products, while others infuse local Jamaican ingredients to provide you with a truly authentic spa experience. The spa experience was something I just truly would not have been able to find anywhere in New York City.
Round Hill was conceived by well-connected, Jamaican-born entrepreneur John Pringle, whose mother was a social fixture and owned the former Sunset Lodge Hotel in Montego Bay. The 100-acre peninsula was part of Lord Monson’s huge Round Hill Estate, which was first a sugar plantation and later grew coconuts, pimento, and allspice. The peninsular bluff was also home to pineapple groves, which are now represented in the signature logo of this prominent Montego Bay resort. Pringle’s vision was to take the boutique concept onto another level and into a new domain. The plan comprised the design and development of a luxury cottage complex in Montego Bay — an early boutique hotel — which, based on Pringle’s own revolutionary business model, would offer those who purchased a cottage a share in hotel profits.
In other words, he had the idea of creating a resort that would appeal to the very rich who wanted to have a cottage in the West Indies without the problem of absentee ownership. Pringle was dedicated to his dreams and worked tirelessly to turn them into reality. In 1953 the ever-renowned and celebrated Round Hill opened its doors to the world of fame, wealth, and creative talent — with Noel Coward as its first shareholder! Prominent American and European socialites, literati, and artists were invited to build cottages and to invest in the hotel.
Today, the wood-paneled bar is lined with black-and-white photographs of the owners and their stylish guests enjoying Round Hill’s beach and nightlife, which was so fun and interesting for Brian to look at while enjoying our much-needed array of tropical “grown-up drinks.”
There is truly nothing I failed to do on this trip; I took advantage of all the amazing things Round Hill had to offer and was transformed into the most relaxed version of myself for my entire stay. I sat on the beach and read for pleasure, snorkeled in clear blue water, did outdoor yoga multiple times a day (the instructor told me I have to do yoga every day from now on because, strangely enough, I hold all my tension in my legs), ate cleanly, healthily, and delyssciously, dined on the beach, and enjoyed our absolutely gorgeous, private villa.
Could I have asked for anything more from a vacation (besides another month or two)?
