Dear Sharon,
I think my 15-year-old daughter is throwing up after she eats. What should we do?
Dear Parents,
If a child has been throwing up consistently after meals for more than a brief period of time, it could be a sign of a potentially serious physical problem or a health concern, such as bulimia. I often suggest that parents with questions like yours begin by confidentially consulting trusted medical or school personnel for support and helpful information. It can make a difference to seek guidance as soon as possible.
An Internet search can also provide sources of information and support. The New York Times Health Guide has articles on a broad range of topics that you might find useful. Self-help groups like Overeaters Anonymous and The American Anorexia–Bulimia Association could be valuable resources as well.
As you’re seeking guidance, you can also play a big part in sorting things through.
Quality time with loving family members is important to people of all ages who are confronting challenges. I suggest that all parents of teens make it a priority to spend chunks of relaxed, fun time with their adolescents and when important concerns such as yours surface, I encourage parents to schedule these times each week, writing them into their calendars to ensure that the dates happen and are uninterrupted by work or other responsibilities.
If parents and teens can enjoy each other’s company, it becomes more possible to discuss things openly with plenty of care and connection in place.
Moms and dads might begin by asking about details of their child’s life that are confusing or stressful. Academics, peers, self-esteem, body image, and crushes or dating are just a few of the many topics teens confront every day. There might also be stress stemming from home life (family transition or discord) as well. If a teen can open up about things on her mind, it can mean a lot to parents and children, strengthening relationships in many ways.
If talks about “traditional” worries go well, then it will probably be easier to address a child’s possible purging episodes. As it is often humiliating to disclose such information, I suggest that parents listen respectfully and stay as calm as possible. It is essential that adults share their perspectives in important matters, but it can help children take in information if moms and dads keep their opinions brief, especially when conversations first begin. When adult emotions and suggestions become the central focus of sensitive conversations, children can become more defensive and secretive than is helpful.
Potential eating disorders are rarely simple to resolve, but establishing knowledgeable and supportive environments inside and outside the home often makes a big difference. Best wishes as you sort this through.
