When I sent my firstborn off to school 10 years ago, I was ill-prepared for the realities of his new life. I thought I’d just send him off with a tearful goodbye, and that would be that.
Boy, was I wrong.
I completely underestimated how managing my son’s (and later, his brother’s) school life would consume such a chunk of my time.
Each day, I had to review a list of questions. Is today the day they take in money for lunch from the cafeteria or pack a lunch? What’s the deadline for filling out the paperwork and getting the money for the field trip? What time do I have to pick up my son from the after-school activity? Buy what for the science fair?!
But, through the years — and now with both sons in high school — I’ve learned a lot through my own experience and that of other seasoned parents who taught me the key to surviving the school years: “Work smarter, not harder.”
Here are some tips I’ve gathered that should help you glide through the next four semesters:
• Organized parents are always seen with their organizers. Whether you use electronics or paper, maintain an organizer in which you keep all of your appointments and phone numbers with you at all times. Record dates as soon as you’re made aware of them. And make sure to have important phone numbers, like your child’s school, the bus company’s and those of child’s friends’ parents, available in a pinch.
• Avoid vacations that run up into the week before school. That’s the week you want to train your children to start waking up early again and getting back into routines. It’s harder for the kids to go back to school if they are on a trip right before school starts.
• Avoid the mistake of buying unnecessary school supplies by checking with your child’s school to determine what is needed. Consider saving money by buying supplies in bulk and splitting the cost with a friend whose child needs the same supplies. There are usually a few items you’ll always need on hand throughout the year — lined paper and pencils — so stock up when they are on sale.
• Cell phones have become a common school supply, though many schools are limiting their use during the school day. They are useful in keeping in touch on important matters — my sons call or text during lunch to let me know they need something for the following day or that a club meeting has been canceled. If you’re not keen on buying them their own cell phone, consider a pre-paid phone. Make sure you know the phone carrier’s costs — my sons once racked up a few $100 through unnecessary text messaging and Internet access.
• Organize everything your child needs to take to school the night before (older children can do this on their own). Pack their lunchbox with non-perishables and add the items that require an ice pack in the morning. Make sure the kids put the ice pack back into the freezer when they get home from school and empty the wrappers and food bits out of the lunchbox to clean it for the next day.
• Buy extra ice packs for lunch boxes. In a pinch, you can pack a plastic storage bag with ice cubes. Ask your child to brainstorm about what healthy food they’d like for lunches.
• Keep a day’s worth of extra lunch money stashed in the backpack for those times when your child forgets money.
• Make sure your child’s vaccinations are up to date. This is often required not only for school, but for participation in sports and scouting. If you are applying for exemptions, get your paperwork organized.
• If your child commutes by car or bus, carry snacks and cold water in the car or pack extra in the backpack for bus trips, if permitted. You may want to freeze bottles of water; they’ll thaw out and provide cold refreshment by the end of the day.
• If you’re the type of parent who likes to give teachers and bus drivers gifts for holidays or at the end of the year, consider buying items as you see them and can afford them, packing them away in the closet until needed, rather than making a mad rush for gifts at the last minute.
• Most school districts now have Internet sites that allow you to see your child’s academic progress in real time. I can set up my district’s site to send me e-mails every time my sons’ grades dip below a certain level. It’s been an invaluable tool in keeping abreast of their academic performances.
• Join the PTA or other school groups and prepare to get involved. Nothing will keep you more connected to your child and the school more than volunteering. Get to know your child’s teachers. Take advantages of opportunities, such as open houses, to know what materials your child is using for learning.
• If your child is starting at a new school, visit the school with him or her once before the year begins so he or she will feel more comfortable on the first day.
• If your child is going to school for the first time, plan to have your child spend a lot of down time there after classes — perhaps at the playground — to help deal with some of the transition stress he or she may feel.
• Line up emergency contacts on your child’s behalf just in case the school has trouble getting in touch with you.
• Organize car pools whenever possible, especially given the escalating fuel costs that have hit every family budget.
• One of the most challenging aspects of the school year is having nutritious, delicious meals ready by the end of the day. If you don’t already have one, invest in a slow cooker. It’s a parent’s best friend in the kitchen. Consider making oatmeal the night before so your family wakes up to a hot-cooked breakfast in the morning (this is especially helpful if your family is on different work-school shifts and everyone needs to help themselves). The slow cooker also can be used to prepare dinner and cuts down on the end-of-the-day frustration of what to do for dinner on those rush days. You can also ensure healthy meals by making large portions of food and freezing it for later use.
• Make sure school personnel are aware of any special needs your child may have.
• Make sure you read at least a half hour each day with your younger child. It’s also fun to read the same books your middle or high school child may be reading.
• Talk to your child about drugs, alcohol, bullies, peer pressure, guns, strangers and not picking up needles or allowing another child’s blood to get near his or her cuts. Review sex education with older children.
• Try to be sensitive to your child’s feelings around test times — be aware of how you have felt when you were under pressure at work.
• Feed your child well and give him or her plenty of support and opportunities for rest.
• Get to know your child’s friends and their families. Open your home to supervised parties and sleep-overs.
• Review your child’s homework with him or her. Ensure that homework comes before play, TV, computers or video games, but allow for some down time.
• Set up a quiet place to study and provide reference materials.
• Augment your child’s education with family field trips and home projects. Schools are cutting back on the extras, so you may have to take up the slack with art, music and physical education.
• Celebrate your child’s accomplishments.
