There is a bustle in the city! A hum of excitement! Regardless of whether you are staying home through December or traveling, the excitement of time with family, presents, and yummy food can be felt with every breath.
The impact that this time of year has on behavior can also be felt through each and every family. The stress, being off schedule, and juggling too many late family parties will be clear in the behavior of your kids. Let’s minimize the distress that you and your children go through this holiday season.
In order to avoid extra tantrums and increased whining, I have a few proactive solutions, just for you:
First, take care of yourself! I know, this is often the last thing on your list. Trust me, move it up to the top five. When you are healthy, your ability to be the parent you want to be increases.
Among the holiday parties, schedule a night at your favorite yoga class or meet a friend to go spinning early one morning. The small moments of self care will have a huge positive impact on your family’s happiness. Acknowledging that everyone is more on-edge can also be a great model of the behavior you are looking for from you kiddo. Showing them that when you are frustrated, you are going to count to 10 or walk away, is not only a fabulous way to take care of yourself, but also a priceless model to your kids about how to act when frustrated.
Second, recognize that your kids are going to be excited. Embrace it! Get excited with them, rather than yelling at them to calm down. Find times to talk about what is happening over the next couple of days or weeks (depending on the age of your child) and get really jazzed about it. When they are excited at inopportune times, remind them that you will celebrate the upcoming celebration at another time. Name that other time and make sure it happens. Knowing there is a specific time to be excited makes it easier to stay calm.
Third, acknowledge that the rules are going to change during vacations and holiday visits. Bedtimes might be later or desserts might be eaten all day instead of just after dinner. These changes are part of the celebrations and need to be talked about. Don’t expect your child to just understand these are the holidays, so everything is different. Talk about it. Explain that the rules are different than a typical day and explain why. Use age-appropriate language to provide the explanations.
Don’t let problem behavior get in the way of your celebrating this year. Take a few steps to embrace the excitement, take care of your own being, and talk about the special changes that come with this time of year. Happy holidays!
Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavioral therapist based in Brooklyn. She has worked with thousands of families for more than 15 years. For more on her, visit www.Behav
