In today’s pop culture, young love may just be the most innocent, adorable phenomenon. A flowering romance between two young people may be the perfect theme for a new hit song, the most-watched television series, or the next, best-seller teen novel. Let’s face it, what could be cuter than two love birds holding hands as they stroll down the street or cuddle on a park bench? Nevertheless, the teenage dating scene is more often a fairy tale than a reality — often passionate, but short-lived, and not as commonplace as the media would portray. Generally, their relationships can be a tricky addition to their already fast-paced, busy, and ever-changing life, and one that may be welcome or burdensome.
I have never been in a romantic relationship before. For most of my life, I have been the naïve one when it came to love and dating. Growing up, what I knew of romance and relationships came from watching Snow White pine for her Prince Charming or Cinderella being swept off her feet and out of her miserable life by handsome royalty. When I was in elementary school, I thought that boys had cooties, kissing gave you cold sores, and babies were delivered by the stork.
Nevertheless, hormones eventually kicked in for me, and boys became a bit more than just a dorky annoyance. I have had — and still have — my share of crushes — this cute boy that sits next to me in class or that hot guy who I see every day in my building. Still, I have never corralled the courage or confidence to ask them out.
Finding a balance
Or maybe, a relationship is not something I want in my young life. The teenage years can be an inconvenient time for dating. It is a crucial time in our lives, when we start making decisions about our career paths and our future. I am so busy with school, work, and extracurricular activities that I just do not have time to date. The immaturity of teenagers and the fear of commitment can also cause a rather awkward distance between would-be lovers. In high school, I remember finding boys relatively “dumb” (no offense) when it came to romance. Honestly, if someone still cannot get the message after you have spent so much time talking to him after class, saying “hi” in the hallways, and hanging around his locker, you just lose hope!
Romance vs. uncertain futures
Furthermore, the teenage years are all about change; changes that can rock even the most steadfast of relationships. You spend four years in high school, and then you are whisked away to four years of college that are possibly followed by a couple of years of grad school, and then a career — maybe somewhere else on the globe. My reluctance to become involved with someone has been partially because I doubted the strength of such an early relationship. Two of my friends were the “it” couple throughout high school. I was almost certain that they would get married and live happily ever after. Yet, two weeks of college on different sides of the country was able to quickly dissolve their relationship.
College eye-opener
Going to college can also change our definition of romance. While I had abstained from a relationship in high school, I was hopeful about college. With everyone being older, relationships must have more worth. Yet, entering college, I found that the dating scene was far different from what I had expected. A steady relationship was not on most students’ minds. I found that most guys want hook-ups, no strings attached, and one-night stands. They want nothing to do with love. Maybe, they have grown bitter from the relationships they had or they just need an outlet for their sexual drive. For me, however, I want the emotions and the feelings of loving someone, not the additional pleasures of having a relationship.
Relationship pitfalls
Yet, sometimes we do meet that special someone. When dating at such a young age, one must be careful. Do not let yourself fall victim to an abusive relationship. Make sure the feelings are mutual and that your partner is as interested in fostering the romance as you are. Avoid manipulated relationships and be wary of motives. I have known friends who have dated people for reasons other than love. One of my friends was left brokenhearted when he found out that his girlfriend only dated him because of a bet she made with her friends.
Also, while being a couple may seem intimate and romantic, try not to isolate yourself from others. Do not let one special person distance you from the rest of your friends. Continue to hang out with others and as a group. Don’t worry, your friends will respectfully give you and your partner the space you need.
Regardless of what a romance might mean to you, a teenage relationship is not for all people. Some of my friends have been in a beautiful and steady relationship. They have continued to be together even with miles between them. Nevertheless, for me, I am still searching for that special someone to make my fairy tale come true. For now, I think I will wait a year or two.
Aglaia Ho is a freshman at Williams College and a native New Yorker.
