Have you noticed that somewhere between our childhoods and the childhoods of kids today, parents stopped letting kids be kids and started scheduling them like mini businessmen and women? It had to be somewhere along the time helicopter parents began multiplying in record numbers.
When we were young, our parents would tell us to go outside and play, and we would. We’d find friends on the block and play red light, green light; tag; stickball; or Red Rover. Every day, we’d play each of those games by the time the street lights come on.
Somewhere those unstructured activities were replaced with afternoon (and evening) classes filled with ballet, karate, gymnastics, and more. Afterschool activities are a wonderful way to enrich a child’s life and learn a new skill set, but children do not need multiple classes that take up all their waking hours. Years ago we took a class, not engaged in daily afterschool classes until the sun set and it was time for bed (and don’t even start me on the sheer amount of homework kids have today!). As children, we had hours of free time every day to play. It wasn’t parental slacking off or lazy parents leaving kids to get into trouble. It was, and still is, what kids should do!
Today, the lack of play and unstructured activity is having an impact on children’s ability to creatively think, and some say, learn. Kids who are sitting in a desk all day as first graders and then go on to more afterschool classes have pent-up energy that needs to be released. Schools need to set aside room for kids to run and around and play daily, not just 15 minutes after lunch. But how can they when teachers have such limited time to drill kids with common core standards to attain their standardized testing goals? There may be no concrete, foreseeable solution in terms of adding playtime to a school day, but certainly, once kids get out of school, they should be allowed to have some time alone, and with friends, to just play.
There is a common misconception between helicopter parents and free-range parents that you can either let kids play outside and submit them to the dangers of the street or keep them inside. I have always felt that this notion was thrown out there in the heat of the argument to try to prove (a moot) point, as in, “I’m not keeping my kids in all day when they can be outside alone.” That’s a cop-out. There is no either or when it comes to kids playing outside. If you feel uncomfortable about letting your kids out, go outside with them and supervise!
I would never suggest that parents do anything that they feel might compromise safety. In fact, I do believe that kids need supervision, so, nope, you won’t see me letting a 7 or 8 year old go to the park alone. Some might, but not me. Yet, there’s no way I’d stop a child from going to the park or playing outside. I would go with my child, or have my older daughter, or my mother accompany the child. I regularly left my kids to make up their own activities and games often. I didn’t always feel I had to suggest and schedule what they did every minute of every day.
I know time constraints exist and parents are swamped with work more than ever, but there is always a point in the day when kids can play outside. My mom was a single mom who worked two and three jobs at any given time, but she made time for my sister and me to play outside everyday.
Now, a lot of people seem to need an event to go to with the kids rather just sit outside and play. Let kids be kids and do nothing sometimes, run around aimlessly up and down the street, make up imaginary scenarios, and play tag. It’s healthy for kids to play and create games without any toys. We don’t need to schedule kids’ activities like our meetings at work.
The small window of time kids have to just be kids is so incredibly short. Much of the rest of their life will be spent in structured activity and the push to force children to grow up seems to get earlier and earlier.
Childhood should be a time of exploration and fun, sometimes without adult constraints. Those will come soon enough, no matter what we do.
Danielle Sullivan, a mom of three, has worked as a writer and editor in the parenting world for more than 10 years. Sullivan also writes about pets and parenting for Disney’s Babble.com. Find Sullivan on her blogs, Just Write Mom and Some Puppy To Love.
