Freshman year jitters

College is an exciting time for teenagers. The experience is depicted in literature, pop culture, film, and even the stories from our parents as being the ultimate adventure of a lifetime. Teens get the opportunity to create new friendships, study abroad, quarrel with a roommate, and prepare for a future career. For most, college is very different from high school. It comes with newfound responsibilities and freedom. Instead of facing an early morning commute into the city, many teens travel to other parts of the country in order to pursue their studies. These changes can make attending college a daunting experience.

As I, like many high school graduates, begin a new chapter of my life this fall, I cannot help but feel anxious about what is to come. My personal experience is filled with many firsts: first time living away from home; first time doing laundry on my own; first time trying to pull myself out of bed (on time!) each morning without my mom prodding me awake; first time juggling schoolwork, a social life, and a campus job. Needless to say, it is a bit overwhelming. How will I ever be able to survive this diabolical list of new challenges?

For me, one of the biggest changes is living on my own. I’ll admit that I have lived a seemingly sheltered and comfortable life. I have spent my whole life in the same two-story brick house in the same suburban neighborhood. The longest I have ever been away from home without my parents was probably four days during a fifth-grade field trip! Even then, while I thoroughly enjoyed myself, those four days felt like an eternity. I could not imagine staying away any longer!

Besides having to worry about the basic necessities of living alone (for example, cleaning, laundry, meals, etc.), I am particularly concerned about missing my parents. We have an extremely close relationship. Being an only child, I have monopolized all of their support and attention. I am used to sharing all the information in my life with them. They know the names of my best friends, my school grades, my occasional drama-queen emotions, and even my deepest confessions. Our relationship has partially helped me succeed by providing an outlet for all my thoughts and concerns.

Being away from home means that I will not have this open communication with them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I will have to deal with my own emotions, make my own decisions, and trust myself. This is something I struggle with, but hopefully time on my own will only strengthen my confidence and self-reliance.

Yet, the hardest change for me is leaving behind my old high school life. I’ve learned that I thrive under continuity. It provides me security, which allows me to channel all of my energy toward my work and success. Going off to college means leaving behind so much, both personally and academically. It is a melancholic feeling to realize that I’ll suddenly have to part with the friends I have made and loved for four years. My friends have meant so much to me and provided me a stable social life.

Additionally, I feel like I am losing all of my accomplishments from high school. College is a fresh start, which for some may sound new and invigorating. For me, however, college means relinquishing my leadership positions from high school, the internships and summer programs I was involved in, my grades, and the awards I have won. It is the feeling that I have worked so hard to only start over once more. Nevertheless, this feeling has forced me to reconsider my perspective on life. So many experiences are short-lived, so you need to focus more on the long-haul. If I have “lost” my old high school life, I have gained meaningful memories and experiences that may help me in the future.

College may give me some butterflies, but I am still optimistic. Talking with friends, coworkers, and family has truly shown me that, in many ways, I am prepared to take on this new journey. Living in New York City has taught me so many things that I would have never learned anywhere else in the world. The city has instilled in me a maturity that I have just come to discover. Coming from a specialized public high school, I can look forward to a much smaller class size and more one-on-one attention with teachers. Working in the heart of Manhattan for two summers has taught me how to survive in even the most fast-paced society. Hey, if I can navigate the subway system — even on the weekends with all the service changes — and jay walking like a true New Yorker, I can find my way safely around campus. With the city’s colorful cast of characters, I have probably seen it all. The city can be brutally competitive. No wonder they say if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

Making the transition to college is just another big change teens will face in life. You will find that in some ways, you are totally unprepared for college and in others, you are ready to tackle this new experience. The jitters are totally normal, so don’t stress too much. My mother told me that although college may be a new world, you are always the same person. No matter how many changes and challenges you may face in your new home, there are some things that will never change.

Aglaia Ho is a freshman at Williams College and a native New Yorker.

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