Surviving the first weeks of parenthood

Parenting will always bring challenges, but there’s something uniquely difficult about those earliest weeks with your first child. As a newly minted dad who’s just survived this grueling period, I may be able to shed some light on it. First of all, to really make sense of things, we need to look back a few trimesters.

When you are a first-time expecting parent, all of your energy becomes consumed with scaling the “mountain of pregnancy.” You can read and prepare all you want, but if you haven’t had a baby before, the part about actually having a baby is as much as your excited, anxious brain can handle. During this stage, expect to have only enough mental stamina to focus on two things: preparing for labor, and getting all the stuff.

At long last, and still too soon, you’re in the thick of the birth experience. Among other things, this period of time includes all the stages of labor — early labor, active labor, screaming labor — plus whatever combination of a la carte factors happens to be included in your customized delivery package. Just be aware that the particulars of delivery are like a sandwich from a bad deli — whatever you planned for is not what you’re going to get. Still, as long as you have your baby and everyone turns out OK, there’s no sense in getting too hung up on the details.

As manic and magical as labor and delivery may be, it’s all over before you know it. And only now that you’ve crested the “summit of pregnancy” can you see that it was just the first in a whole mountain range of challenges that lay beyond.

Now, unless your name is Beyoncé and you’ve employed a platoon of nannies to keep your new baby from interfering too much with your life, pretty quickly you’re in the trenches of parenting. Here, you find yourself frantically asking questions like: “What does it want?” “How do I make it stop?” “It’s getting too big — what comes after onesies? Twosies? WHY DIDN’T WE PUT TWOSIES ON OUR REGISTRY?!”

Even if you are reasonably prepared for this, as the weeks wear on, you find that you’re being pushed nearly over the edge. Sleep deprivation and the nerve-shattering scream of a tiny infant are the main causes, but there’s another, less tangible one that you may not have allowed yourself to fully consider.

You see, during pregnancy, friends and family shower you with wisdom about how your life will forever change (“but in a good way!”), and about how you will feel love like you have never felt before. This creates a vision of unicorns drinking from a fountain while an enchanting harp plays and celestial light twinkles in the eyes of the cherub staring up at you. But instead, after a few weeks of running yourself ragged attending to your tiny baby’s constant needs, you still can’t tell if this odd little creature even realizes that you exist.

From the moment your baby was born, you instinctively felt like you would throw yourself in front of an oncoming yellow taxi to protect her, and yet, when you kiss your cherished weeks-old infant on the cheek, she just flinches and turns her head away like you’re a stray dog licking her face. All the while, she stares off into space and moves her little arms and legs according to some arcane ritual, as if she’s communicating with the alien mothership. For all you know, you’re just the silly earthling who is foolishly providing sustenance to the demanding creature that is engineering the enslavement of your entire world. Silly human! Silly, exhausted, distressed human, to be exact.

It’s a little bit funny that you’ve turned your life completely upside down for a person you know almost nothing about, and who, at some point in the next 16 years, is going to slam a door in your face and scream, “I HATE YOU!” Even your baby’s few recognizable traits could disappear. In the coming months, that brown hair may fall out and come back blond, and those blue eyes could turn green, or hazel, or who knows what.

So, in short, becoming a parent includes dealing with the fearful anxiety that your baby is an alien. Worse still, is that this leads to terrible guilt — at a time when you should be nothing but self-sacrificing, you find yourself wondering, “Why did I do this? What’s in it for me?”

It’s OK to have those thoughts — it just means you’re human. (And for the record, your baby is, too.) These first weeks are meant to push you to your limit — they’re priming you for the years to come. Parenting will be wonderfully gratifying, but it’s essential to understand from the start how desperately your little one relies on you. There can’t be any confusion about whose needs come first.

After the better part of two months, when all of that has had time to sink in, your little one will finally reward you with a sly look and a little grin. That, of course, is one of the most beautiful sights in the world, and no matter what else happens in the next 16 years, you’ll always keep that with you.

Tim Perrins is a part-time stay-at-home dad who lives with his wife and their brand new tiny human in Park Slope, Brooklyn. More of his thoughts about babies and other things that confuse him can be found at www.RevoltOfTheImbeciles.blogspot.com.

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Dedimus Potestatem

<p>Dedimus Potestatem provides fun, engaging, academically challenging programs to students in primary, middle, and high school. Programs include Leadership, Debate, Model United Nations, Computer Programming, Financial Literacy, Filmmaking, Philosophy, Model Congress, Mock Trial, Etiquette, Bioethics, Stem and Bioethics, and more. We currently offer both virtual and in-person private, semi-private, and group sessions and after-school programs. Contact us to bring us to your school today!</p> <p>Sessions</p> <p>We currently offer both virtual and in-person private, semi-private, and group sessions as well as after-school programs. To register, visit <a href="https://www.potestatem.co/bookclassesnow" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.potestatem.co/bookclassesnow </a>or email us at <a href="mailto:[email protected]?subject=REGISTER" target="_blank" rel="noopener">[email protected]</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/leadership" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leadership: Middle School ages 10-13, High School ages 14-18</a></p> <p>This is a unique leadership course that gives students the skills they need to succeed in life. Using an activity-based syllabus centered around character traits most sought and admired in leaders (initiative, honesty, self-control, adaptability, empathy, persuasiveness, resourcefulness, diligence, tolerance, determination, generosity, punctuality, courage, reliability, endurance, deference, creativity and integrity) students learn how to deal with situations they encounter in life. These building blocks will ensure they grow to become the leaders so sought after by our burgeoning society. Our grading rubric was adapted with the permission of Neil Mercer, the Director of research and Head of Faculty at The University of Cambridge.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/little-leaders-prek-and-kindergarten" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Little Leaders: Primary School Ages 6-9</a></p> <p>Developed by former pre-school and elementary teachers, this ethics-centered program utilizes a play-based method to encourage students to explore and apply soft skills in their daily lives. While cultivating the skills they will need to build strong, successful relationships, they will learn how to find their voice and showcase themselves in the best way. Students will learn to communicate and negotiate so they can be better team leaders and team players. Students will learn how to deal with situations they encounter in life, such as bullying, cheating, conflicts between two or more parties, and more. The inculcation of these values in our children's formative years will ensure they grow to become the leaders so sought after by our burgeoning society.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/beginnersdebate" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Speech & Debate</a> (competitive and non-competitive programs available)</p> <p>This online after-school program prepares students for formal and informal presentations. Participants learn to craft and present arguments and inform, persuade, and motivate an audience in a variety of ways. According to the English Speaking Union, debate is a natural fit for students and compliments common core standards. Debate builds literacy and multi-media research skills, fosters critical thinking and expanded perspectives, enhances public speaking skills, increases confidence, trains students to listen effectively, supports diverse learners and strengthens civil engagement and discourse. </p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/model-un" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Model United Nations (Ages 11-18)</a></p> <p>Model UN simulates the six major organs of the United Nations. Students role play as delegates from a country of their choosing and learn to write and present resolutions based on topics they are passionate about-just as if they were representing member states of the United Nations. We utilize materials from National Model UN and video tutorials to teach students how to write and present position papers, working papers, and draft resolutions. Students use debate and negotiation to enlist the support of other delegates for their resolution. 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Our objective in this course is to educate the next generation, nurture and inculcate a passion for civics and history and encourage young people to advocate for themselves.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/philosophy" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Philosophy</a></p> <p>The focus of the Philosophy class is to examine and understand the ideas behind the most popular philosophies embraced throughout the world. To do this, students examine ethical situations through the lens of these philosophies and engage in a Socratic style debate. Students are presented with an ethical question and they must identify stakeholders and players within the dilemma, discuss the key moral issues and present opposing viewpoints. This class was built for students who wish to <a href="https://nhseb.unc.edu/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">compete in the middle or high school Ethics Bowl</a>. </p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/money-matters-financial-literacy-for-kids-afterschool">Money Matters: Financial Literacy for Students</a></p> <p>The Money Matters course is built to help students manage their personal finances, from building credit and loan applications to interest rates and investing strategies. This class will cover the basics of financial health, savings, spending habits, and budgeting. After learning how to store, track, and spend responsibly, students will learn about risk management, APRs, and tax preparation. This class will use real-life examples and teach students how to set and achieve financial goals. This course is ideal for middle and high school students.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/stem-dna-ethics" target="_blank" rel="noopener">STEM and Bioethics: (Ages 10-18)</a></p> <p>Our STEM program will give kids the opportunity to think critically about science and society, and to practice communicating scientific topics in ways everyone can understand. To be a successful scientist in our modern world, one must not only have a broad understanding of scientific material learned at school, but also the ability to communicate effectively and share that knowledge with others. Each week of this program will build on the previous while also introducing new scientific topics for discussion.</p> <p><a href="https://www.potestatem.co/classes/virtual-after-school-etiquette" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Etiquette (Ages 5 and up)</a></p> <p>Due to increasing popular demand from groups and individuals, we have decided to offer our etiquette course as an eight week after-school class. 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Usdan Summer Camp for the Arts

<div>Surrounded by 140 acres of natural beauty, Usdan Summer Camp for the Arts is the perfect place for your child to joyfully express their creativity. We offer 1, 4, and 8-week day camp programs for students K through 12. Classes are taught by exceptional educators and professional artists in music, art, theater, creative writing, chess, and more. Bus transportation is available from Long Island and NYC to our woodland campus in Wheatley Heights.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div><strong>Scholarships</strong></div> <div><br />We believe that every student who wants to attend Usdan should be able to. Usdan has offered need-based scholarships since our opening in 1968 and on average 45% of our campers received some kind of scholarship. We welcome you to apply.</div> <p> </p>

Camp Woodward

<p>For those who live action sports, a week at Woodward West is beyond anything they’ve ever imagined. With an over 50-year legacy of teaching athletes balance and agility, Woodward knows what it takes to learn and be the best in the sports kids love. That is why we’ve built the most innovative parks, with features and training tools that help reduce injury and give kids a safe space to progress in the sports they love.  </p> <p>11 weeks of summer camp offered in 2024 will feature the following programs:</p> <p>- Skateboarding</p> <p>- Scooter riding</p> <p>- BMX freestyle biking</p> <p>- BMX racing</p> <p>- Parkour</p> <p>- Roller skating</p> <p>- Multisport</p> <p> </p> <p>The multisport program is a great place where kids can get a taste of all the action sports and discover their true passion!</p> <p>Woodward instruction and parks are built for progression, while recreational activities guarantee campers never have a dull moment. There are also pro athletes and Olympians in attendance each week who teach and hang with campers all week long.</p> <p>There’s no place like it. Join us this summer!</p>