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Social networking sites have become a phenomenon with teens since websites like Facebook came online — and having a presence on them has become a must for most teenagers. Well, except me. Until now.

I recently got my Facebook account — after choosing not to have one for years — because it was the only way I could access one of my teacher’s notes that she began posting online. Still, my decision to do so wasn’t an easy one: I was well aware of the consequences of overuse. I have friends who are obsessed with updating their status. I also know friends who have been cyber-bullied. I didn’t want to become a victim of the social network.

So I talked it over with my parents, and together we decided that if I used good judgment, Facebook would help me stay in the loop.

I created my account, and because I was just about the last person in my school to be on Facebook, the deluge began.

I was bombarded with friend requests. As I scanned the page, I noticed that half of the people were mere acquaintances. Some were just kids who went to my school, though we shared none of the same classes. One of my friends even teased, “OMG, you actually exist!”

To add to my headache, many people were hiding behind various pseudonyms and monikers (obviously, “Harvard Lightning” and “CeeJ” aren’t actual names). The anonymity of identities give teenagers the liberty to fantasize about the perfect person. Still, it is particularly confusing — and dangerous. Screening through friend requests was time-consuming. After an hour, I was still filtering requests. Much care is needed in order to connect with the right people, not those with villainous motives.

If I thought “friending” people was rocket science, I was faced with a whole new challenge when I began to explore the site further. All users have their own profile, which they can edit to express their likes, dislikes, and even personal information. As I skimmed the profiles of my friends, I learned that Facebook was like a sounding board. My friends continuously posted random quotes, complaints, and exclamations on their profile “wall.” Some were nearly as trivial as “[name] flop like a fish,” and “why am I the fish?” I couldn’t help but cringe at the pure stupidity of it.

Still, I found that Facebook had practical benefits, despite my initial shock. For one, the site allows students to discuss class lessons and homework. I found a group of students from my house with whom I could discuss math homework and the discussions were mostly productive. Rather than just posting the answer, some students explained the solutions.

Facebook also provides an outlet for students to collaborate on group projects. Passing around documents and discussing how to organize the work is much easier over the Internet. Messaging one another makes each exchange more informative and resourceful.

Facebook makes it much easier to plan events. I’ve learned that hosting large events is an arduous chore. Making individual phone calls leaves you without a voice, and mass e-mails often go unread. However, discussing details for a get-together is more convenient on Facebook. RVSPs are built into the system, so no one has to pull teeth to get a response. This is a great feature for teenagers, because getting out and about is a big part of our lives.

Overall, I would say that having self-control is the key to utilizing Facebook to its potential without sacrificing time and safety. Keep a private account free from personal information and connect with people you actually know. Join class groups to understand lessons and homework. Ignore any rude and pointless comments. And don’t be afraid to let your parent being involved in your online life.

Even after realizing the benefits of Facebook, I still believe that it is not the center of our lives! What’s wrong with face-to-face communication? Our society lacks many real-life experiences because technology is so deeply ingrained in our world. An instant message will never have the same emotional or memorable capacity as a direct conversation or even a hand-written letter. Real life is on the line, but not online!

Aglaia Ho is a 16-year-old student from Queens who enjoys writing. Her work has been published in Creative Kids, Skipping Stones, Daily News-Children’s Pressline, and The State of the Wild.

Reader Feedback

Sharon from Brooklyn says:
With my daughter's (age 14) permission, I setup a Facebook account so that I can monitor her activities. In less than a day I received at least 30 requests to be my friends. Many of them are her friends. Do they know that they are being connected with an adult? I'm constantly warn my daughter that friendship should never be developed online!
Jan. 25, 12:17 pm
P Singh from Great Neck says:
Put the computer in the family room, so you can supervise your teens.
Jan. 25, 1:54 pm
Ann B. from Forest Hills says:
I agree that Facebook is great for school group projects. It is a time saving device for parents. No more chauffeuring!
Jan. 26, 10:38 am
W Harris from Brooklyn says:
Is refreshing to read an article written by a teen, who is mature and intelligent.
I'm not computer-savvy. In order to keep up with my boys (always on the computer), I found
Carolyn Jabs' articles on technology very helpful.
Jan. 31, 9:16 am
Karen M from Murray Hill says:
Do you know that Yuri Milner (who invest in Facebook and Twitter) only has 58 friends on Facebook and never tweet? Many of my students claim that they have more than 100 friends in Facebook. Now I understand why they sleep in classes and hand in homework late because they are too busy online. No wonder our students are lagging behind others from many countries.
Feb. 3, 12:13 pm

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