If I start to tell my 5-year-old son that he must do something, he’ll start to scream and cry, which makes it impossible for him to listen. How can I help him calm down and follow directions?
At some point, every parent will be faced with a situation in which a child refuses to follow directions. It can be challenging to maintain your patience and attempt to reason with your son when he doesn’t want to listen to you. As hard as it may be, try to view these experiences as opportunities to help your son understand that he won’t get what he wants by being difficult. Here are a few strategies that you can use that will teach your son to listen to you.
First, get his attention by making eye contact and moving close to him. Children are more inclined to follow your directions if you’re nearby.
When you do give your son directions, be very straightforward and brief. Children have a tendency to ignore adults if they talk for a long period of time or use complicated language. For example, if your son refuses to go to bed, instead of giving him a lengthy explanation as to why it’s important for him to sleep, say something like, “You need to go to bed now.”
Also, even if you’re frustrated, try not to yell. While it may be tempting to yell when you’re angry, raising your voice can make it difficult for your son to understand what you’re saying and could even make it appear that you’re not in control. Instead, attempt to speak at a normal volume.
Sending your son to “time-out” can be helpful. Pick a nearby safe spot away from television, toys or anything else that he enjoys. Stop your son from whatever he happens to be doing and move him to your time-out location. If your son attempts to leave time-out before you give him permission, you should return him to the designated spot.
No matter how disruptive your son becomes, you should try to be quiet and ignore anything that he might be doing, as long as his actions aren’t putting him in any danger. Paying attention to your son will reward his behavior and make him think that he can control the situation simply by misbehaving. Allow him to leave time-out when he’s quiet and willing to listen to what you have to say.
The more consistent you are with using time-out, the more effective this discipline strategy will become. While it may be hard to reason with your son now, things will get better over time, and he’ll eventually learn the importance of following your directions.
